Tag Archives: Funny Stuff

Funny Responses Part 9

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Question: Umm…Can i hide in your pocket?! 😀
Answer: Get in!!

Question: are you doing a tweet spree because if you are im staying up late until you notice me @CThomasHowell
Answer: Anythings possible!!

Question: I’m bored, what should I do?
Answer: 20 pushups go!!
Question: I ACTUALLY DID IT OMG AND THEY WERE THE SHITTIEST PUSH-UPS EVER.. NOW WHAT DO I DO?!
Answer: Eat a giant bowl of Lucky Charms!

Question: According to ELLE mag,were compatible.(You’re fast friends who make each other laugh,sharing a sharp, sarcastic wit.) #libra
Answer: …and that shit don’t lie!

Question: my teacher has a crush on you
Answer: Whats his name?

Question: u still manage to look hot
Answer: Its the hair dye and plastic surgery!!!

Question: Hi Tommy! 🙂 How often do you cuss?
Answer: I don’t fuckin know

Question: you were the perfect 15 year old.
Answer: STILL AM

Question: YOUR BIO OMG.
Answer: RIGHT OMG!

Question: why couldnt you have stayed a teenager forever
Answer: Omg that would suck

Question: can I date the 15 year old you or is that weird
Answer: He’s available but doesn’t drive…

Question: Will you still love me when I’m no longer young & beautifuuuuuullll Pony?
Answer: Yes but not as much..

Question: So whats up for you next my talented friend
Answer: Prolly’ get liquored up and smack the kids! You?

Question: Will you come make out with me?
Answer: Babe, Im watchin hockey! Now go get me a beer!!!

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Question: LOOK AT MY LOCK SCREEN<333333 (with Ponyboy picture)
Answer: OMG I love Harry Styles!

Question: Can I meet you one day?
Answer: Hows tomorrow at 3:30? Starbucks?

Question: I’m on my way to L.A. wanna hit the gym?
Answer: I’m in… should I grab a tattoo first?

Question: What’s your favorite baseball team?
Answer: THE LA KINGS

Question: How do you prefer your spankings?
Answer: Every hour on the hour!

Question: Will you love me if I give you beer?
Answer: Of course!

Question: Are you two gonna fuck or what? (after an ongoing hockey discussion with a fan)
Answer: No but I’m game for a circle jerk… you the pivot man? Lol

Question: What do you have when you have 2 green balls in your hand?
Answer: Kermits undivided attention?

Question: Are you drunk again? 😉
Answer: Shut up and and kiss me!!

Question: Hey Tommy how old were you in this picture??? (with a pic where he looks about 16)
Answer: 46-35+5

Question: ok answer honestly: do you think you were really sexy when you were in your teens/20s
Answer: I’m not into guys

Question: My friends get annoyed when I talk about The Outsiders, should I stop talking about it?
Answer: Get new friends!

Question: Isn’t it your turn to get me a beer? Now hurry along sweet cheeks 😉
Answer: Don’t make daddy get off this couch!!

Question: how does it feel to be a 46 year old sex symbol?
Answer: Soooooo Goooood!!!! lol

Question: what was it like spitting on Leif Garret?
Answer: Like wasting good spit!

Question: How about I get ya a nice, cold beer? 😀
Answer: Make it a tallboy!

Question: Are u a political guy? Public or privately?
Answer: Hate politics publicly

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Question: I would love if you could tweet me again to make my night…found out I have virtigo today!!
Answer: You’re a vertigo? I’m a Sag!!!

Question: Would you shun Liam if he didnt go for the Kings?
Answer: Shun? no… Beat? yes.

Question: Dreamt that we were married and I woke up sad
Answer: Don’t blame you

Question: new to twitter, be my first star response… please
Answer: You’ll always remember your first. (I’ll be gentle)

Question: Hello my talented friend and welcome to the weekend. Any plans that involve porn and chicken?
Answer: I’m going to eat some BBQ porn and watch chickens fuck!

Question: Would you ever do an interview on my podcast about your career?
Answer: Nobody wants to hear about my career!
Question: (From Tommy’s Webmaster) I think you should do an interview with ‘em about my career…
Answer: That I’ll do!!!

Question: Is Andrew Garfield extra cute in person?
Answer: Not my type

Question: How do you pronounce your name?
Answer: Ka thom as How ell.

Question: Hi! What does the C stand for in ur name?
Answer: Im not sure… should we google it?

Question: peanutbutter gives me heartburn…is that normal?!?!
Answer: Um… Im no doctor but Im gonna go with no…

Question: DID YOU KNOW THE TONGUE COULD BLEED WHY AM I JUST FINDING THIS OUT IM SO STUPID
Answer: But just 1 week a month

Comment: Tumblr should change its name to Dumblr… Just sayin’

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Question: i hate the entire male population minus you, youre a rad cat, sir.
Answer: I understand and thank you!

Question: RING RING Whispering…What are you wearing? Lol enjoy your tweets have a good day.
Answer: Chaps and nothing else!

Question: I think I’m the only 40+ year old guy tweeting him. Don’t get the wrong idea Tommy.
Answer: Damn… But I thought we…. Sigh

Question: fave actress??
Answer: Michael Cudlitz without a doubt!

Question: Hey Tommy, was Robert crazy or just a red blooded kid in a war? Oh Daryl… #asktommy #reddawn #wolverines #darylwasarat
Answer: A crazy red blooded American! Lol

Question: Do you like cats?!
Answer: The Broadway musical!? LOVED IT!!

Question: sitting by the pool drinking a few cold ones and my sis n law thinks u will not give me a what’s up!!!
Answer: Smack her for me!

Question: are you afraid of the big bad wolf?
Answer: I am the big bad wolf!

Question: And did you ever wear under-roos?
Answer: Got em on now!

Question: how do you feel about horny teenage girls crushin on you?
Answer: Horny? They have horns?!? wtf!?!?

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Question: I’m bowling with a bunch of drunk adults. I’m 13.. Come help me. Please.
Answer: Kick their butts

Question: isn’t Thomas Gibson one sexy man? You are too
Answer: He’s a good kisser

Question: Are you even aware of what tumblr says about you?! they think you’re a sex machine!
Answer: Finally somebody got it right!!!

Question: You do Twitter right.
Answer: It sort of does me… i just roll with it.

Question: I’m not talking to you anymore
Answer: Yes you will… trust me. you will.

Question: Some Donkeys in Mexico are hung like horses.
Answer: Thats racist…

Question: If you were able to time travel and visit your younger self, What would you say?
Answer: Buy stock in Apple!

Question: NOTICE ME!!!!!!! ;))) love ya for always!!! Ps I’m not stalking
Answer: It’s ok to stalk on Twitter…

Question: hook me up with an acting job….
Answer: Hook me up with a singing gig!

Question: I saw you die in revolution! This is impossible!!
Answer: Cuz we all know I can kick Billy’s ass! lol

Question: i might die if you read this, js
Answer: One body bag Coming up!

Question: Outsiders homework… Any suggestions for Ponyboy’s future?
Answer: He became the Reaper and went on a killing spree in Boston… Terrifying the city for years! Hope that helps…

Question: I still need to buy you a drink.
Answer: Hey if you plan to sleep with me it’ll cost you dinner too!!

Question: MY LOVE FOR YOU IS BIGGER THAN NIKKI MINAJ’S BOOTY.
Answer: Lol.. thats serious!

Question: I WANT YOUR FIRST BORN SON
Answer: You sure? he’s 16 and eats a ton!!!

Question: You noticed me so many times! You’re now my 3rd favorite actor. Sorry I really like Leo DiCaprio and Tom Cruise…
Answer: and how many times have they noticed you? ZERO! Better rethink it girl…

Question: respond back to this tweet so we can annoy my fried Sara? loll
Answer: Whats fried Sara? I’ve had fried okra!

Question: youre so fly
Answer: For a white guy

Question: will u marry my mom?
Answer: Um….. is she hot?!?

Question: i would shit a brick if you tweeted me idk
Answer: Send pics!!

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Question: I’m not kidding. Eyeliner. On my 8 year old brother, if I get a tweet. I will send photos I swear!
Answer: When he starts wearing your clothes… Send me pics

Question: Boxers, briefs, or commando? I don’t care if you’ve answered it before & I’m not Googling it!
Answer: Thong

Question: An argentinian girl loves you
Answer: Finally!

Question: can you magically turn 16 again, or is that impossible?
Answer: Whats in it for me?

Question: Do you ever tell people to stay gold?
Answer: Only if it benefits me somehow, someway

Question: This is my first time tweeting. Any advice?
Answer: Post a fake pic of a super model and lie lie lie!

Question: hey I just saw ur in a movie called Escape, is that really u ?
Answer: Yeah, I got away!!!

Question: do you like lana del rey’s songs
Answer: Anybody with a pussy that tastes like Pepsi is cool with me!
Answer: (after taking some flack) I can’t apologize for possibly the greatest tweet ever… Lana Del Rey fans understand… (it’s in the lyrics to one of her songs)
Answer: (after more flack) My tweets don’t need excuses… I recommend you unfollow me and follow my mom… I’m not for everybody! #loudandproud

Question: Team edward or jacob…??
Answer: Who the fuck are they?

Question: what’s it like being perfect?
Answer: How can I put it… sigh… Perfect!

Question: you spend your life on twitter!
Answer: Yeah, the 150 movies I’ve done were tweeted too…

Question: would you rather be as tall as a forest tree or as small as an ant?
Answer: Either would suck

Question: Should I name my next cat Ponyboy or Tommy?
Answer: “Tom Cat” sweet

Question: i want u??
Answer: Are you asking me? Yes… yes you do.

Question: haha I love how us fangirls scare you
Answer: Hold me?

Question: R U Sober?!?
Answer: Yep… i don’t need alcohol to talk shit, babe

Question: Yes i prefer @CThomasHowell over Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise if you don’t than you suck. #sorrynotsorry
Answer: You to the front!

Question: Are there lightning bugs (fireflies) in Cali? We have a lot here in NJ.
Answer: No but we have hobo’s and smog!

Question: sweetheart ssssshhhhhh I have a migraine and trying to sleep
Answer: (Whispers) wheres the remote?

Question: i woke up hoping to get a tweet from my dream man no luck
Answer: Shh you’ll wake the kids

Question: I have home work due tomorrow!!! Any ideas on ponyboy’s children?
Answer: All died in a Dairy Queen accident

Question: do people ever call you c?
Answer: Not to my face

Question: if you were a piece of clothing what would you be?
Answer: Kate Upton’s bathing suit

Question: if you could would you?
Answer: I can and I do!

Question: LOL, you’re rather good at playing unhinged physchotic characters!
Answer: It comes naturally… Lol

Question: Hey can we have an adult conversation please!?
Answer: You mean x rated?

Question: I shall not sleep until I get followed
Answer: Yes you will

Question: Why do you always tweet when I’m going to bed? now I gotta stay up
Answer: Its part of my evil plan

Question: honestly id kinda poop my pants if you wrote back
Answer: Go change, you smell

Question: I wanna meet u in person 🙂
Answer: Ok, I’m in Mississippi… under a bridge in Long Beach..

Question: tell my dog she’s a cat
Answer: Yell at my baby!!!

Question: *faints* #needmouthtomouth
Answer: Im on it!!

Question: It’s raining outside, should I go out and sing in it? 🙂
Answer: No… stay in bed… (you’ll wake up your bird)

Question: hey love im wide awake and need to hear from my future husband
Answer: Shh.. you’ll wake the kids!

Question: I can’t sleep what should I do???
Answer: Grab me a beer…

Question: Whats the best thing about being famous? Lol weird question!!
Answer: Not standing in lines!

Question: what if i told you that i love you
Answer: I’d blush…

Question: why are you so good looking??
Answer: My dad was the Marlboro man #truth

Question: do you sleep with a night light
Answer: No, a blonde!

Question: is Ralph Machio funny?
Answer: No, Italian

Question: are you a fun drunk?
Answer: Im a fun everything!

Question: follow me or ill jump out of a 4 story window
Answer: Send video!!!

Question: Atlantic City smells like corn niblets. Any ideas why? #seriously
Answer: Digested corn niblets you mean

Question: about 1 week of school left…and then I’ll be a freshman…advice?
Answer: Carry pepper spray

Question: Do you like Full House
Answer: Yes but four of a kind is better

Question: I fell down a hole today 🙂
Answer: Were you chasing a white rabbit?

Question: Dewey, I graduated from high school last night. You wanna come over and have some cake?
Answer: Is your mom hot?

Question: hey please help me, I’m having problems. I got a A- in one of my classes and my moms mad I don’t no what to do. Thats not bad
Answer: Try strychnine in her coffee…

Question: Did you fall from heaven? ‘Cause damn.
Answer: Yeah and it really hurt!

Question: do you like sloths
Answer: Never met one

Question: so i practically made all my friends love you. Wow
Answer: You’re part of my plan to take over the world!

Question: On a scale of one to ten how sexy is poutine?
Answer: Negative 1

Question: you’re so damn perfect it makes me want to cry.
Answer: Let it out, girl

Question: Your opinion on Patrick Kane?
Answer: His beard is lame lmao

Question: come to denver and drive me to mcdonalds
Answer: I was going to but u didn’t say please!

Question: i got a kitten today. what should i name him? i can’t decide!
Answer: Milo

Question: I actually live on a golf course. Come whack your balls in my back yard. 🙂
Answer: Whoa whoa whoa!!!!!

Question: I’m probably going to stay up all night anyways so you might as well tweet me to take up some time
Answer: Oh, am I “time filler” now?

Question: if you tweeted me this would seriously be the bet day of my life
Answer: Enjoy the best day of your life!

Question: you do realize to this day you have girls fantasizing about “ponyboy” rightt?
Answer: Do you blame them!?

Question: how do you feel about an American / Irish threesome?
Answer: I’ll do it for my country!

Question: I’ve got no kids for the whole summer they’re headed to my brothers any suggestions?
Answer: Want mine!?

Question: you think you’ll ever be a guest star as Uncle Tommy on #BabyDaddy?
Answer: Is heavy drinking allowed!?

Question: Isn’t Mr. Cudlitz blonde?
Answer: @Cudlitz is a fake blonde!
Question: He has fake boobs too doesn’t he Tommy?
Answer: Those are real! LMAO!

Question: Still waiting to hear from you…good thing I didn’t hold my breath!
Answer: Never a good idea! lol

Question: Will you go out on a date with me?
Answer: If we go Dutch!

Question: we shall be married tomorrow!
Answer: Dang, what should I wear?

Question: I’ll meet ya at the bar 🙂 first round in me.
Answer: Whoa “in you?” C U there!

Question: I’m graduating from middle school on Monday. I’m not ready for high school. Any words of advice ?
Answer: carry mace and brass knuckles…

Question: is there anything more comfortable than yoga pants?
Answer: Um… no pants!?

Question: what would you do if i sent myself to you in the mail?
Answer: Open you and read you…

Question: I know every line of the Outsiders. Will you love me now?
Answer: No but it is the beginning of something special

Question: why wont u admit that ur in love with me?
Answer: Its just so difficult… we’ve been thru so much. sigh

Question: do you believe in UNICORNS? 🙂
Answer: No I eat them…
Question: I cant eat a whole one by myself..can you?
Answer: I go with the “fun size”
Question: unicorn on the cob?
Answer: Canned…

Question: i just swallowed an orange seed am i gonna die
Answer: How big was it?

Question: What is the most romantic thing you have ever said?? 🙂
Answer: “Do you have protection?”

Question: why hasn’t @CThomasHowell tweeted to me yet?
Answer: What now?

Question: BTW is the outsiders worth a watch !!!!
Answer: Rolex or Cartier?

Question: my dad doesn’t believe you’ll tweet me back, prove him wrong?
Answer: What does he know!?

Question: you ignoring me now .. #depression
Answer: Patience wee one

Question: what r u wearing
Answer: Lacy panties and a push up bra! oh and high tops..

Question: Am I annoying you?
Answer: You’ll have to try harder!

Question: you will never understand my love for you tommy
Answer: Its just too mysterious and complicated isn’t it?

Funny Stuff: Ask Tommy!

This morning on the set of Storm Rider in Utah... (Proof I can smile) (5/25/13)
This morning on the set of Storm Rider in Utah… (Proof I can smile) (5/25/13)

This is our new post area for Tommy’s most bizarre questions. Need lifestyle advice? Want to know the best place to store tofu? Don’t expect him to give you the right answer, but hopefully he’ll give you a funny one. (Any many thanks to @LittleSmudger for coming up with the #AskTommy tag!)

If you have questions for this category, please ask @cthomashowell on Twitter with #AskTommy as the hashtag.

Question: should I get out of bed?.. #AskTommy
Answer: No… and demand room service!

Question: What actually killed off the dinosaurs? #AskTommy
Answer: Taco Bell.., I know it!

Question: who took the bag of chicken legs out of my freezer and left them on the counter? And why? #AskTommy
Answer: You did while you were sleep walking… #neverwakeasleepwalker

Question: Why is there a silent, invisible 3 in my name? #AskTommy
Answer: Cuz the Batman symbol is trade marked!

Question: How old were you when you got your first period? #AskTommy
Answer: 2nd or third grade writing class. Hate english!

Question: how do I get rid of this headache? #AskTommy
Answer: One teaspoon of anthrax should do the trick!

Question: what’s under there? #AskTommy
Answer: Underwear?

Question: #asktommy why is it so hot under your bed? I’m dying under here!!
Answer: Wait… I don’t see you…

Question: #AskTommy why are you so evil?! #georgefoyett
Answer: I need a hug…

Question: What’s under my bed? #AskTommy
Answer: An old ouija board, a sock, a big hunk rapper, a kinks cassette and a thong
Question: ROFL!!! How did you know? And who’s thong is that anyway????
Answer: Lol… mine

Question: If vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?! #AskTommy
Answer: Puppies

Question: What’s “basketball”? #AskTommy
Answer: Never heard of it! #soccer #hockey forever

Funny Responses Part 7

From Tommy's Twitter: My day doesn't suck!  (01/23/13)
From Tommy’s Twitter: My day doesn’t suck! (01/23/13)

Question: Where you been at, i missed you!
Answer: Shhh… Im under your bed…

Question: Come live with me. My husband won’t mind…
Answer: Can he cook!?

Question: when you stepped out into the bright sunlight, what was on your mind?
Answer: Shit… Where are my sunglasses!?

Question: do you still wait for the sunset and watch it?
Answer: Out here its more of a “smog set”

Question: dogs cats or fish
Answer: All good if cooked properly

Question: what would you do if you turned into a girl
Answer: My milkshake would bring all the boys to the yard!

Question: have you ever been to wales?
Answer: no but Ive been whale watching

Question: do you even (weight) lift, bro?
Answer: I have people for that

Question: my feet are cold help me
Answer: Um… Socks?

Question: you are per-fucking-fection.
Answer: Is that a word?

Question: who would win at golf you or thomas gibson?
Answer: Id kick his ass then kill his wife… wait… #thereaper

From Tommy's Twitter: Good times with @NathanFillion and @AdrianPasdar last night! They are both examples for all. (taken 11/10/12)
From Tommy’s Twitter: Good times with @NathanFillion and @AdrianPasdar last night! They are both examples for all. (taken 11/10/12)

Question: do you agree that Matt Dillon’s eyebrows are still amazing 30 years on?
Answer: Its just one brow

Question: *whines about how you tweet everyone but me* @CThomasHowell [insert witty comment here]
Answer: Possibly best tweet ever!

Question: Loved “Tigers Tale” if only to see Ann-Margret nude. Must’ve been fun
Answer: All I could think was… “The king was here” #elvis

Question: If you were on Dancing with the Stars, what would be your signature dance move?
Answer: The horizontal bop

Question: not going to sleep till you tweet me back
Answer: You cant make me tweet you… wait… damn!

Question: Refuse to sleep until you tweet me
Answer: I feel used

Question: Truth be told… @CThomasHowell was my first celeb crush
Answer: Who was your 2nd?
Answer: (from fan) Rob Lowe…. :3
Answer: (from Tommy) Me too!!

Question: Has anyone ever told you how awesome you are!?
Answer: No

Question: You should get a part in Supernatural..yes?
Answer: Not sure they’d know what to do with me.

Question: on a scale of 1-10 how much do u like pie
Answer: What kind of pie we talkin about here?

Question: RT me? If not I’m gonna sell my cat to a Chinese restaurant.
Answer: Maybe just give it to them!? #dogperson

Question: do you like pizza
Answer: Honey really? you can do better than that… try again.

Question: Is the glass half empty or half full?
Answer: Looks like both to me

Question: I hate u
Answer: And when you say “hate?” I assume you mean “crazy love!”

Question: Do you wish you were young again?
Answer: Child plz

Question: We watched “The Outsiders” in class the other day and all the girls were talking about how cute Ponyboy is. Haha!
Answer: and you agreed?

Question: But can you really kill a man with a tennis ball and bug spray?
Answer: Yes and a woman too

Question: you are so cute stop
Answer: You stop

Question: yay!! 20 questions!! What was your favorite childhood toy??
Answer: I didnt have a childhood

From Michael Cudlitz Twitter: #SouthLAnd .......
From Michael Cudlitz Twitter: #SouthLAnd …….

Question: I think I love you.
Answer: But you’re not sure?

Question: hey tommy my mom won’t let me watch southland
Answer: Put her ass on the phone!!!

Question: I refuse to even breathe until you tweet me back.
Answer: That could get ugly

Question: Your IMDB says you’re an ex-child rodeo star. I didn’t know that. Still have some cowboy in you, man?
Answer: I never had one in me!!!

Question: your tew cute! Maybe you should call me?! XD *COUGH COUGH, WINK WINK*
Answer: Answer it! thats me!!

Question: can u twerk tommy do u shake that ass
Answer: With the best of em

Question: omg hi
Answer: Omg hi back

Question: after playing a cop ever wish you could pull idiot drivers over ?
Answer: You have no idea

Question: greetings from #TheNerdCulture! We’d love a ‘hello’ from you!
Answer: Hey nerds!!!

Question: we should have a movie night at your house. okay? okay.
Answer: You’d have to check with your mommy. Lol

Question: Okay CT. Enough of the one word answers you usually give me, it’s time for a real conversation. How’s your Easter??
Answer: really really really great (4 words)

Question: what do you know about Sweden?
Answer: Cold weather, warm girls!

Question: would you let me paint your nails pink
Answer: Unlikely but not an absolute no. I’m more of a hot rod red guy…

Question: Tommy why don’t you like cats?!…
Answer: Hated em ever since the “accident”

Question: YOU ARE AMAZING!! I LOVE YOU THOMAS!! Not in a creepy way though..
Answer: Thx for clarifying

Question: you don’t like cats? Does that mean you wouldn’t like me? 😥
Answer: Wait… I LOVE typing cats!!!

Question: why does @CThomasHowell not love me. i mean i love him..
Answer: I love everyone

Question: If I gave you a unicorn were would you hide it?
Answer: With the elephant

Nice leather seats there
Nice leather seats there

Question: @Cudlitz is really the man for me. @CThomasHowell is just a sideline.
Answer: Im glad you’ve got your priorities right!

Question: I was starting to think Twitter was broken when I didn’t see you around! #LifeReturnsToNormal #CallOffTheSearchTeam
Answer: Lol yeah I can get outta hand sometimes… Just trying to take care of the kids!

Question: you play the best protagonist and antagonist in my favorite movie & tv show #Ponyboy #TheReaper
Answer: I’m a pretty good “agonist” lol

Question: OK, what’s your favorite position??
Answer: Quarterback!

Question: How does one continue their day after a small child asks you out of nowhere, “What’s the meaning of life”?
Answer: Did you point and laugh?

Question: Hi,Tommy! I love u! It’s my favorite vowel! 😉
Answer: Love u too Kelly!!!

Question: words can’t describe how much i love @CThomasHowell ❤
Answer: Maybe numbers? Like on a scale of 1-10?!?

Question: my friend won’t stop singing how do i stop her
Answer: Feed her a PB&J… If that doesn’t work… Punch her in the throat!!!

Question: I think all your movies are awesome! Would you ever star in Red Dawn 2?
Answer: Um… I died
Question: lol I know you died in Red Dawn but, Red Dawn 2 could be Zombie style 🙂
Answer: Oh… nah

Question: please tell me where you get all your sass. I’ve been dying to know your secret!
Answer: Wal mart

Question: tell me to go to sleep
Answer: Dont tell me what to do!